pruesaysit

It is common knowledge that the best way to spend a Thursday night is down at the dogs. The little jackets, the pre-recorded bugle sounding out before a race, the smell of stale VB that lingers in the TAB…it’s these little things that make a night at the Greyhounds perfect for a classless lass like myself.
Fortunately, I have friends that are happy to drop themselves down to my level on occasion, so Loz, Jo, Gords, Teeds and I headed to Sandown.

Teeds and Gords placing their bets.

The dogs doing their thing.

Deliberating which dog to back snack from the hot food stall looks least likely to give me food poisoning.

I was too pov to back any dogs, although I did suggest a dog I wanted to win in one race. No more than 2 seconds after I’d uttered my dogs number, said dog went on to start humping every dog in sight. Typical that I should back the humper.

Another jaunty adventure undertaken recently was heading to Karaoke again at the Tudor Inn. No Franco Cotzo in sight. Perhaps he has found a local closer to Brunswick or Footescray?
It was, indeed, a very odd night. I had some bogan woman slap me, not once but twice, in what was an apparent show of appreciation for my Karaoke efforts. Now, I’ve imagined being slapped down at Karaoke, as I’m not very good, but this woman went on about how I should cut a cd, and how I was fabulous and amazing and I “shit all over that fat fucker” Guy Sebastian? Her attention was so odd. She actually followed me around all night, trying to talk to me, telling me how awesome I was. I had a brief peek into what it might be like to be a celebrity…(Yes, I realise this is quite a stretch given that I was just some Karaoke bitch, but I digress) and it was creepy as all hell. She kept touching me and slapping me with enthusiasm and hunting me down, no matter how hard I tried to hide behind friends.
I found a brave protector in Col, a bloke who looked remarkably like Gene Simmons. Yes, he was Gene Simmons age as well. And he was lovely and had be been 20 years younger, he’d have been in like flynn, but rather than let him down, (he was pretty keen, who can blame him?) I let him believe I was gay. I feel kinda bad about it, but I mean, hell, I was only half lying. I didn’t have the heart to tell him he was too old. He was sweet about it and still tried to convince me he could convert me if I had dinner with him. Ten points for effort. It was very flattering, none the less.

Sunday I did something that I have been putting off for about 6 years. I cleaned out all the shit I’ve been carrying around since I moved out of home. A whole trailer load of stuff went. It had been taking up the entirety of my garage since I moved here to Aspendale.
While we were loading the trailer, I had some time to think about why I’d been carrying it all around with me. In a lot of ways, I think all the ’stuff’ I’ve held on to is like a security blanket. I’ve been scared of ending up on my own and knowing that I had all this ’stuff’, it made me feel less scared, more prepared. But I realised that I didn’t need to hold on to everything I’ve ever touched to feel safe. It was quite an emotional experience getting rid of it all of it, but in a nice purge-y kind of way. Tossing all the shit away has been like a physical manifestation of the emotional transitions I’ve been through these last few months, except I didn’t have to go to Clayton nor pay $47 bucks to get rid of my emotional baggage.

Christ. Is that how much shit I’ve been keeping all these years?
Seriously, even my dad looks shocked! Here’s my attempt at a shocked face

I just noticed I look like a I have a spectacular Widows Peak in this picture. Awesome.

Anyways, this is what I’ve been up to. What have you been doing?
Any suggestions for avoiding becoming a pack rat again? How does one deal with Karaoke fame?

Btw, I’m thinking of taking Plush Jesus on an excursion. Anywhere you’d like to see Jesus chillaxin?

Originally published at pruesaysit.com. Please leave any comments there.

We had a Sunday morning Big Breakfast over the weekend. As expected, it was fucking amazing. Eggs, Tomatoes, Half a Pig, Hashbrowns, Spinnach, Toast, Beans, Bread, Orange Juice, Chocolate Milk, Onions, Fried Mushrooms… All consumed under the sunshine of our backyard, complete with both The Sunday Age and Herald Sun. Sundays don’t get any better than this, my friends.

  For more pictures of breakfast, just click go to here.

 The rest of the weekend was spent doing weekendy kind of stuff, like going to Ikea, going shopping for groceries, vegging out on the couch and watching a dvd with mates.

I got one of those threatening letters of impending legal action over a bill today. Eugh! Stupid AGL.

I don’t think the guy who works at my local servo thinks I’m particularly amusing. I was standing in line with Loz, waiting for him to finish chatting up some bird in front of us. He was taking ages, so I announced that Loz and I would just wait til his speed dating session was over. He didn’t laugh. We did. A lot. The girl didn’t find it amusing either. The akwardness that followed was the funniest part.

Why are Crunchie chocolate bars always broken in half?

Originally published at pruesaysit.com. Please leave any comments there.

It was an interesting night for Couch Potatoes like myself tonight. I cried twice during two different shows. Perhaps I’m becoming overly emotional in my old age, but let me explain;

There was a story on Suspicious Minds tonight, where they were talking to a family who’s son had been hit by a car on the way home from school. He ran out from behind a bus, and was killed instantly. What made me so sad was that they were interviewing his step sister, and she said “I dared him to run across the road…It was my fault”
My heart just broke for this poor girl. Her family, who were sitting by her side, asured her that it wasn’t her fault, but the look in this young girls eyes was just that of such guilt and sadness.
I was overwhelmed with tears when she herself started to cry. Every part of me wanted to reach through the television and hug this young girl. I can’t imagine the kind of pain she lives with every day, re-running the scenario in her head, over and over.

The second was a segment in a BBC show called “Life of Grime: New York”. It’s essentially about the horrors of living in New York, and follows people who are responsible for the maintance of the city.
They introduced an old biddy and her even older biddy of a mother, who had managed to acquire 40 odd cats in their apartment. The cats had become too much work for the woman, and she had organised Animal Control to come and take them away.
While being furious with the woman who let her situation get so bad, I felt so sorry for the guys who had to trap these near ferral cats. You could see they really just wanted to get them out of there, and rehomed.
But ofcourse, where do you take an army of cats that have turned pscyho because their owner has treated them like shit? The Animal Shelters were full, and they ended up euthanaising 47 cats.
I just wanted to slap this woman with all my strength. It’s one thing to neglect yourself, but to neglect her animals like she did made me sick. I was crying so much, I got the sleeve of my windcheater all snotty.

I’m not overly emotional to cry at those 2 things am I? Cats and Kids seem like appropriate things for a woman to get teary over, don’t they?

Anyway, after I finished crying, I sat around with my Kitties, brushing their coats and generally annoying them with over zealous grooming. I watched some more TV, ate a can of Stagg Chilli which claimed to be mild. My tastebuds agreed, yes it was mild. Unfortunately my arse wasn’t quite as inclined to agree. I now have a wierdly upset stomach and farts that smell like I’ve just eaten 4 million Hungry Jacks Onion Rings. You know the smell I mean, yeah? It’s unmistakable.

Nate has started boxing up all his stuff. We came to an agreement that I could keep the Christmas Tree we bought together! YAY! I’m so excited, because it’s absolutely beautiful. Luckily, anything else he’s taking will be replaced by Loz or Teeds when they move in. I’ve given him the coffee table to take with him and a few other bits and pieces which makes me look like a good mate, when really I’m just offloading crap onto him that would otherwise just hang around the house causing clutter.
Tomorrow I’m going to clean out the drawers in the lounge, move the fridge, and empty out the pantry so I can move that too.
I got lucky when I was out today, finding a gorgeous black vase for only $3 bucks. It came from this great shop in Mordialloc that is absolutely huge and they have heaps and heaps of crap, and everything is cheap like the budgie. I needed a vase to put the flowers in that Loz gave me the other night. I forgot to mention them, but they’re gorgeous!

I went and suspended my membership at the Gym for 2 months, til things are back on track and the girls are moved in, and I have a car. Otherwise, I’m paying for something that I can’t really get to to use. I’ve been really slack when it comes to the Gym lately, and haven’t been in about 3 weeks. I think I’m really feeling it too. I feel fat and bloated and less energetic than I had been. Things aren’t fitting as well as they used to. I’m hoping that when the girls move in, I’ll have a walking buddy for strolling on the beach. Bah, Winter sucks the motivation right out of me.

Inspired by the Red Paperclip guy, I’ve decided I want to trade my Nintendo 64 with 4 games for something cool. It doesn’t have to be something expensive, just something that I’ll get more use out of. Maybe something tacky or retro kitsch would be awesome. Any takers?

Originally published at pruesaysit.com. Please leave any comments there.

What I wrote last night with my Bingo marker in a shitty notebook coz I was too lazy to get off the couch.

Saturday night Loz, Greg and myself set out to gorge ourselves on grease laden hamburgers at TGIFridays, Southland. We were told we had to wait “at least 25 minutes for a table” by the most annoying waitress you’ve ever met. I had no issue with the waiting around part…I’d already grabbed myself a packet of chicken Twisties to tide myself over, but the girl who was the hostess…fuck me swingin! You know those truly terribly annoying customer service staff that greet you with a smile so wide that you always imagined was anatomically impossible? Both times I’ve been there I’ve suffered her unbelievably pleasant demeanor, and both times I’ve wanted to bend her over and fuck her in the arse with the spikey end of a pineapple.

Sitting in a booth not too far from us, was what had to have been an American tourist, because surely that is the only explanation I can give for his fashion choices. He and his toddler aged son were decked out in bling that would put Diddy to shame. I felt so incredibly embarrassed for his wife, as I looked on at her white boy husband who was obviously under the illusion he was black. I don’t equate all boys in baggy jeans, backwards facing caps and bling to wiggas, but he was wearing this huge basketball shirt emblazon with a “RECLAIM AFRICAN RIGHTS” slogan, complete with an icon of the clenched fist of the Black Panthers movement. I suspect he knew I was making fun of him, when he looked over to see me bouncing my hands in the air (like I just didn’t care) and referring to my tablemates as “Homes”. He looked unimpressed, G.

After clogging our arteries with yellow gold, we came home and watched the incredibly hot Charlize Theron on Aeon Flux. Admittedly I wasn’t entirely keen on watching the movie after having seen snippets of the anime original, but I actually really enjoyed it. It would seem my geekiness is branching out in to other subcultures of geekdom, like Sci Fi. Most definitely an interesting development, and surely it won’t be long before I break out the Vulcan Ears.

Greg left after the movie, leaving Loz and I to pursue a few hours of unashamed girliness. We sat around the PC, the modern day turntable, and sang along loudly and intermittently in tune. We ended the night doing the Spice girls infamous Stop routine, which I hadn’t performed since the height of SpiceGirls fame sometime around 1997. It’s a testament to my brains uncanny ability to store ridiculous crap, that I managed to bust out all the moves without pause for thought. Be afraid.

Today I slept in, recovering from last nights estrogen overload. I woke up sporadically from 7am onwards, but dismissed any idea of removing myself from the warmth of my doona and that cats that lay draped across me. I always feel really rude if I disturb the cats. Yes, I’m aware of the the fact that I’m turning into an old cat lady at a rapid rate.
At any rate, I was having the most fabulous dreams. They all involved him in some way. When I woke I felt so good at first, just basking in thoughts of him, but then I just felt shadowed by darkness. A curious sadness that I’ve felt every minute since. A longing. That painful yearning that turns your stomach and seems to envelop your heart in what feels like velvet. More on this in my next post.

When I finally dragged my arse out of bed, a decision I made based on my physical inability to return to sleep and sweet, sweet dreamland, I spoke to Andrea on the phone and organised to head out to the Ole Kmart, in Burwood.
We roamed around, caused havoc in the changing rooms and eventually left with with a stack of stuff for Andrea, and a Lenny and Karl figurine for myself. Squeee! In a sweet gesture to repay me for being dragged around the shops, she bought me a dinner of delicious Singapore Noodles! So good! And they say there’s no such thing as a free lunch…albeit a very late lunch!
And how did I thank her for this free dinner? I had my cat throw up on her. Haha, Andrea was nursing her on her knee, and Columbo made this terrible retching sound and then cranked out a vomit sausage all over Andreas lap. Thankgoodness for the feline ability to create compact, pick-upable vomit!

In a general sense, everything is going really well right now. There’s no major dramas in my life, which I’m incredibly thankful for. I’m so excited and enthusiastic about Loz and Teeds moving into the house in August. I’m looking forward to the change in atmosphere within in the house. No doubt I’ll miss Nates company, but he assures me we’ll still hang out. While I’m not entirely sure that will eventuate, based on some extenuation circumstances, I hope it does.
On the plus side, there will be 3 times the amount of make up in the house, which is always a fantastic thing! Better than that, they’re both awesome girls who I love and adore that enjoy living in a home, not just a house. I will miss the fuck out of Chucky and Norris, Nates cat’s that will be going with him. I plan to undertake regular cat sitting activities although I’m sure they will not be as sorely missed by Columbo.
We may even inherit a Dog, if Loz brings hers along, which I’m sure would give Columbo something to keep her amused and a reason to keep her claws sharp and her wits even sharper.

Speaking out against horseplay,

Prue

Originally published at pruesaysit.com. Please leave any comments there.

Some essential reading in dot point form, purely because I’m so tired, but wanted to update. Perhaps there will be some ellaboration when I’m not so apathetic.

• I drank for the first time in 5 years tonight. Well, there was that unfortunate incident with the fruit dessert I made a few months back, but that was unintentional drinking, as I thought the alcohol that I poured over the strawberries would refridgerate out. I now know otherwise.
  Anyway, Nate and I drank tonight. I had 5 cowboys. It’s now about 5 hours later, and I still feel fucked. I had my first official AGB in about 7 years. It was everything I’d remembered.
• Nate and I have been fighting heaps lately. It’s sucking major arse.
• I feel queasy from the grog. Ugh.
• I’ve spent the past few days with Loz. She was in hospital over the weekend for surgery, so she had the week off work and I’ve been keeping her company. I was so glad to spend some one on one time with her. We hadn’t done that for ages, and I really loved hanging out with her.
• Got the cats desexed the other day. Their poor little balls. Well, actually the had huge balls…but not anymore. They’ve been all sooky since, and Chucky has been even more affectionate than normal, if that’s possible.
• Getting the cats desexed pretty much sucked us dry of any money we had. The whole money issue at the moment is worrying me heaps. Things were so much easier before we started sharing money. Now I feel like I have to account for every cent I spend. I’ll be glad when everything is paid up to date, and we can go back to having our own seperate finances again. I mean it worked out well for a while, but just recently Nate and I have had a few arguments about it and it’s just not something I want to argue about.
• I’m feeling increasingly queasy from the grog.
• I’m becoming a dab hand at making pancakes. I’m just letting the word go forth.
• I spent a great arvo with my mum Saturday. I’ve missed our time together alone. We went to Spotlight and then to Parkmore and had a coffee and talked. Things are shithouse for her right now and I just wish I could wrap her up in cottonwool and punch the arseholes that are taking her job away from her square in the face. I don’t know how I can help, but I can’t stand to see her so down.
• Columbo decided crapping in the clothes hamper is a good idea. It’s not.
• I have a few other things on my mind, but I’ll go into them when I’m not feeling so much like I’m going to vomit down my shirt.

Remind me how I don’t drink before I agree to a cowboy, please.

Prue

Originally published at pruesaysit.com. Please leave any comments there.