pruesaysit

October 6th, 1:16

I wondered what the hell I’d gotten myself in for when I first picked up Columbo. She was a reject from a Breeder and she cried all the way home in the car. I thought it was just because she was in heat, but I soon found out she just happened to talk…all the time. So really, we couldn’t have been a better pair in that way. We bonded straight away. From that night on, it was Collie and I. Actually, for a few brief moments, it was Shelby and I, but I had a change of heart 24 hours in to owning her, coz she didn’t seem like a Shelby, and so Columbo it was, as an homage to Peter Falk’s fuck eyed Detective.

She wasn’t the kind of cat that everyone liked. She had a bitch streak a mile long. It was something I loved about her. She was ballsy. She liked handbags, shoes and butter on bread. She loved to play rough, but she lived to spoon at the end of the night. I miss our sleeping arrangement. We had it down pat. I miss so many things about her. So much so, that I hadn’t been able to write this entry sooner. I figured, maybe she’d come home ? But it’s not going to happen. It’s been 2 months since she’s been missing. My heart is broken. I am just so fucking sad. Yeah yeah, I know…I’m just confirming my position as a crazy cat lady here. But right now, I’m a really fuckin sad cat lady who has just lost the leader of her dark army of cats. Who will do my bidding now??? Bea doesn’t have the mean streak to lead a dark army.
Owning Collie was one of the most awesome things I ever got to do. A cat has never rocked so hard. I hope wherever she is, she’s still kickin it hardcore and giving other cats a hard time. Love you Pussy Gatto.

Pussy Gatto

Originally published at pruesaysit.com. Please leave any comments there.

I wondered what the hell I’d gotten myself in for when I first picked up Columbo. She was a reject from a Breeder and she cried all the way home in the car. I thought it was just because she was in heat, but I soon found out she just happened to talk…all the time. So really, we couldn’t have been a better pair in that way. We bonded straight away. From that night on, it was Collie and I. Actually, for a few brief moments, it was Shelby and I, but I had a change of heart 24 hours in to owning her, coz she didn’t seem like a Shelby, and so Columbo it was, as an homage to Peter Falk’s fuck eyed Detective.

She wasn’t the kind of cat that everyone liked. She had a bitch streak a mile long. It was something I loved about her. She was ballsy. She liked handbags, shoes and butter on bread. She loved to play rough, but she lived to spoon at the end of the night. I miss our sleeping arrangement. We had it down pat. I miss so many things about her. So much so, that I hadn’t been able to write this entry sooner. I figured, maybe she’d come home ? But it’s not going to happen. It’s been 2 months since she’s been missing. My heart is broken. I am just so fucking sad. Yeah yeah, I know…I’m just confirming my position as a crazy cat lady here. But right now, I’m a really fuckin sad cat lady who has just lost the leader of her dark army of cats. Who will do my bidding now??? Bea doesn’t have the mean streak to lead a dark army.

Owning Collie was one of the most awesome things I ever got to do. A cat has never rocked so hard. I hope wherever she is, she’s still kickin it hardcore and giving other cats a hard time. Love you Pussy Gatto.

Pussy Gatto

Originally published at pruesaysit.com. Please leave any comments there.

I’m worn out. The cat has not come home. I have to cancel my appointment at Mordialloc to give blood on Tuesday coz they’re not going to take it from me, coz I forgot the stomach issues in my last blood test results make me illegible at the moment. Boo. I was looking forward to some sort of cup of tea after I’d been drained of my life syrup. I’m super tired. I really thought I had something to write, and now that I’m here, I don’t think I do. Well, I have lots but I just don’t have the motivation to write the huge entry it’ll take. Instead, I’m going to listen to Tim read the last 40 pages of his novel aloud while I lay on the couch, shrink style. I think it’ll get me into sleep mode.

Originally published at pruesaysit.com. Please leave any comments there.

Collie and Bea

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Collies new collar is leopard print. It’s hot as.
Bea’s is pink fuzzy shit. It suits her.

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I found Columbo, btw. She’s been making herself at home in the backyards of my neighbours. She is none too happy to be home, as opposed to out roaming the streets, tarting it up. She is now securely trapped in my bedroom, this now being day 2 of lock down. She lost her collar while she was on her magical mystery tour, so I have to go first thing in the morning and get a new one and call the council to organise new tags. She’ll be under house arrest for a few more days, because some guys fixing the garage and I don’t want her getting scared again and running off.

Meezer luv.

Originally published at pruesaysit.com. Please leave any comments there.

I’m thinking about quitting smoking. Last time I tried I caved in after 36 hours or some such. Man, in hindsight that was a really poxy effort! It was actually a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. I’m giving thought to the idea of getting patches when I’m finished my deck of smokes and seeing how I go. I always thought I’d just be able to give up cold turkey, but I think that was wishful thinking. Let’s hope they’re still on special at the Chemist in Mordialloc.

Yesterday I went to Kmart and Nate and I discovered that they’d fucked up the pricing of cat food. Whiskas tins- 5 cents, so we bought something like 100 tins. The cats will be eating Lamb and Kidney for the rest of their lives! We figured our cats are far too picky to want to eat it for 100 days straight, so we donated half of them to the Keysborough Animal Shelter. While we were there we looked at lots of gorgeous kitties, all of which I wanted to scoop up and bring home. The prospect of me becoming a fully fledged cat woman is becoming less and less of a hilarious joke and more of a ridiculous reality!

Originally published at pruesaysit.com. Please leave any comments there.

I feel like I’ve been really busy the last few days, when in actual fact they haven’t really been that busy but they have been relatively stressful.
The weekend was hot as fuckery, so there was a lot of swimming and a lot of sitting around on the couch complaining about said heat.
Then Loz got sick on Sunday night so we went to the Sandringham Emergency Department. It sucked. After 22 hours in there, they finally transferred her to the Freemasons Epworth. For Loz there was a lot of pain and morphine. For me there was a lot of sitting around at the end of her bed watching her sway in and out of conciousness.
She’s home now, feeling better and almost back to her old self.

Here’s a list of things that are annoying me lately-

• Sandringhams Emergency Department and the lack of empathy from any of the nurses. Don’t get me wrong, I know nurses are hard working underpaid folks, but seriously, they were so busy trying to swap shifts with eachother so they could get to Robbie Williams concert, they couldn’t be arsed attending to most of the patients. A strongly worded letter will be sent to the appropriate people about the whole Sandy ED debarcle.
• If you don’t live here, and someone who lives here doesn’t have a place on the couch, get the fuck up and let them have a seat. It’s really rude to let the people who actually pay rent here sit on the floor instead of their own couches.
• Bills, bills and more bills. Where are they coming from!?!?
• Distance
• Cat food that gets stuck on the kitchen lino
• My shitful mattress. It both sucks and blows. The purchase of a new mattress is getting imminent.
• Arseholes who leave bottles and rubbish on my beach. Take it home with you fuckers.
• My broken drawer.
• Nate continually downloading ridiculous amounts of crap onto my PC.
• My diminishing friendship with Greg.

Likewise, here’s a list of things I’m digging at the moment-

• Having a dog around the house. His name is Elvis and we’re dog sitting for 8 weeks. He’s so fun to have around and he’s been so wonderfully behaved. I know, after only having him for a few days, that I will cry when he leaves.
• The fact that the presences of a dog in the house has forced the kitties to band together to form a badarse feline army for their own preservation. I love it!
• The nurse at the Epworth last night. She was a gem and made Loz’s stay in hospital just a bit easier.
• Sitting in Loz’s hospital room last night and having 2 horn players, 2 singers and a real live Santa clause march into the room and perform Silent Night. It was entirely surreal! Plus it came with lollies from Santa! It was the cats pajamas!
• Hanging out with Michael. He’s so easy to be around and he makes me laugh. It’s really awesome to have a new friend.
• Club Dark “Mild and Creamy” chocolate. So good it makes me moist.
• Living with Nate and Loz.
• The beach!

Originally published at pruesaysit.com. Please leave any comments there.

Originally published at pruesaysit.com. Please leave any comments there.

What I wrote last night with my Bingo marker in a shitty notebook coz I was too lazy to get off the couch.

Saturday night Loz, Greg and myself set out to gorge ourselves on grease laden hamburgers at TGIFridays, Southland. We were told we had to wait “at least 25 minutes for a table” by the most annoying waitress you’ve ever met. I had no issue with the waiting around part…I’d already grabbed myself a packet of chicken Twisties to tide myself over, but the girl who was the hostess…fuck me swingin! You know those truly terribly annoying customer service staff that greet you with a smile so wide that you always imagined was anatomically impossible? Both times I’ve been there I’ve suffered her unbelievably pleasant demeanor, and both times I’ve wanted to bend her over and fuck her in the arse with the spikey end of a pineapple.

Sitting in a booth not too far from us, was what had to have been an American tourist, because surely that is the only explanation I can give for his fashion choices. He and his toddler aged son were decked out in bling that would put Diddy to shame. I felt so incredibly embarrassed for his wife, as I looked on at her white boy husband who was obviously under the illusion he was black. I don’t equate all boys in baggy jeans, backwards facing caps and bling to wiggas, but he was wearing this huge basketball shirt emblazon with a “RECLAIM AFRICAN RIGHTS” slogan, complete with an icon of the clenched fist of the Black Panthers movement. I suspect he knew I was making fun of him, when he looked over to see me bouncing my hands in the air (like I just didn’t care) and referring to my tablemates as “Homes”. He looked unimpressed, G.

After clogging our arteries with yellow gold, we came home and watched the incredibly hot Charlize Theron on Aeon Flux. Admittedly I wasn’t entirely keen on watching the movie after having seen snippets of the anime original, but I actually really enjoyed it. It would seem my geekiness is branching out in to other subcultures of geekdom, like Sci Fi. Most definitely an interesting development, and surely it won’t be long before I break out the Vulcan Ears.

Greg left after the movie, leaving Loz and I to pursue a few hours of unashamed girliness. We sat around the PC, the modern day turntable, and sang along loudly and intermittently in tune. We ended the night doing the Spice girls infamous Stop routine, which I hadn’t performed since the height of SpiceGirls fame sometime around 1997. It’s a testament to my brains uncanny ability to store ridiculous crap, that I managed to bust out all the moves without pause for thought. Be afraid.

Today I slept in, recovering from last nights estrogen overload. I woke up sporadically from 7am onwards, but dismissed any idea of removing myself from the warmth of my doona and that cats that lay draped across me. I always feel really rude if I disturb the cats. Yes, I’m aware of the the fact that I’m turning into an old cat lady at a rapid rate.
At any rate, I was having the most fabulous dreams. They all involved him in some way. When I woke I felt so good at first, just basking in thoughts of him, but then I just felt shadowed by darkness. A curious sadness that I’ve felt every minute since. A longing. That painful yearning that turns your stomach and seems to envelop your heart in what feels like velvet. More on this in my next post.

When I finally dragged my arse out of bed, a decision I made based on my physical inability to return to sleep and sweet, sweet dreamland, I spoke to Andrea on the phone and organised to head out to the Ole Kmart, in Burwood.
We roamed around, caused havoc in the changing rooms and eventually left with with a stack of stuff for Andrea, and a Lenny and Karl figurine for myself. Squeee! In a sweet gesture to repay me for being dragged around the shops, she bought me a dinner of delicious Singapore Noodles! So good! And they say there’s no such thing as a free lunch…albeit a very late lunch!
And how did I thank her for this free dinner? I had my cat throw up on her. Haha, Andrea was nursing her on her knee, and Columbo made this terrible retching sound and then cranked out a vomit sausage all over Andreas lap. Thankgoodness for the feline ability to create compact, pick-upable vomit!

In a general sense, everything is going really well right now. There’s no major dramas in my life, which I’m incredibly thankful for. I’m so excited and enthusiastic about Loz and Teeds moving into the house in August. I’m looking forward to the change in atmosphere within in the house. No doubt I’ll miss Nates company, but he assures me we’ll still hang out. While I’m not entirely sure that will eventuate, based on some extenuation circumstances, I hope it does.
On the plus side, there will be 3 times the amount of make up in the house, which is always a fantastic thing! Better than that, they’re both awesome girls who I love and adore that enjoy living in a home, not just a house. I will miss the fuck out of Chucky and Norris, Nates cat’s that will be going with him. I plan to undertake regular cat sitting activities although I’m sure they will not be as sorely missed by Columbo.
We may even inherit a Dog, if Loz brings hers along, which I’m sure would give Columbo something to keep her amused and a reason to keep her claws sharp and her wits even sharper.

Speaking out against horseplay,

Prue

Originally published at pruesaysit.com. Please leave any comments there.

Some essential reading in dot point form, purely because I’m so tired, but wanted to update. Perhaps there will be some ellaboration when I’m not so apathetic.

• I drank for the first time in 5 years tonight. Well, there was that unfortunate incident with the fruit dessert I made a few months back, but that was unintentional drinking, as I thought the alcohol that I poured over the strawberries would refridgerate out. I now know otherwise.
  Anyway, Nate and I drank tonight. I had 5 cowboys. It’s now about 5 hours later, and I still feel fucked. I had my first official AGB in about 7 years. It was everything I’d remembered.
• Nate and I have been fighting heaps lately. It’s sucking major arse.
• I feel queasy from the grog. Ugh.
• I’ve spent the past few days with Loz. She was in hospital over the weekend for surgery, so she had the week off work and I’ve been keeping her company. I was so glad to spend some one on one time with her. We hadn’t done that for ages, and I really loved hanging out with her.
• Got the cats desexed the other day. Their poor little balls. Well, actually the had huge balls…but not anymore. They’ve been all sooky since, and Chucky has been even more affectionate than normal, if that’s possible.
• Getting the cats desexed pretty much sucked us dry of any money we had. The whole money issue at the moment is worrying me heaps. Things were so much easier before we started sharing money. Now I feel like I have to account for every cent I spend. I’ll be glad when everything is paid up to date, and we can go back to having our own seperate finances again. I mean it worked out well for a while, but just recently Nate and I have had a few arguments about it and it’s just not something I want to argue about.
• I’m feeling increasingly queasy from the grog.
• I’m becoming a dab hand at making pancakes. I’m just letting the word go forth.
• I spent a great arvo with my mum Saturday. I’ve missed our time together alone. We went to Spotlight and then to Parkmore and had a coffee and talked. Things are shithouse for her right now and I just wish I could wrap her up in cottonwool and punch the arseholes that are taking her job away from her square in the face. I don’t know how I can help, but I can’t stand to see her so down.
• Columbo decided crapping in the clothes hamper is a good idea. It’s not.
• I have a few other things on my mind, but I’ll go into them when I’m not feeling so much like I’m going to vomit down my shirt.

Remind me how I don’t drink before I agree to a cowboy, please.

Prue

Originally published at pruesaysit.com. Please leave any comments there.