pruesaysit

love

Originally uploaded by pruesaysit

Purple Monkey Dishwasher and I cuddling on the bed. I love that she’s such a hugger, she literally puts her arms around me it’s adorable.

I had a headache all day, but around 5pm, I realised it was turning into a Migraine coz my vision went all fucked and my stomach was churning and I felt terrible. I ended up in bed by 9, but woke up at 1am. Now it’s 3.49am and of course I can’t sleep and my heads still so sore. Fuck me swingin, I wish it would just go away.

You’ll have to forgive the last post that wreaked of emo. A few things came up today that sorta jolted me into feeling really lonely. I don’t really wanna go into them but I just had this moment of realisation that I’m 28 in a few weeks time and well, that whole crazy cat lady (CCL) thing is looking pretty likely. Fuck, come on, look at the pic I’m posting this under. I even brushed my cats teeth today! She has Gingivitis and her breath is fuckin rank and I couldn’t handle it anymore. But still, the act of brushing cat teeth screams CCL doesn’t it? Okay, I admit it, I bought her Catnip spray today too! Arghh… one minute you’re just a bird with a cat, the next, you’re washing your army of cats down at the ole swimming hole against a scrubbing board, screaming obscenities at strangers.

Is it illegal to ride my bike on the footpath?? I hate riding on the road, it makes me nervous coz I’m hardly a cycling demon in lycra, so I feel like a bit of a danger to myself. Instead, I ride on the footpath and just keep a frantic lookout for cars backing out of their drive ways.

I’m going to get Xmas presents today. A new dinner set for mum, coz she’s busting for some plain white Maxwell and Williams sets. I have something else in mind for her too, but I can’t say it here coz she’ll read it and bang, surprise ruined. The old man and I are getting new laptops, which is tres exciting. I’m gonna put up the tree and decorate the house later tonight. There’s only 14 or so sleeps til Xmas, so we’d better get crackin.

Anyway, my head is fuckin pounding and my eyes are killin me, you should have seen the amount of typos I made in this entry. I’m gonna try and get some more sleep so I’m up in time for my appointment in the morning.

Originally published at pruesaysit.com. Please leave any comments there.

1 is the loneliest number.

how did things turn out this way?

Originally published at pruesaysit.com. Please leave any comments there.

Note to self. Never be the moron to put all the bills in their name when living in a sharehouse, coz it just causes so much fucking stress. I had a major cry about it this afternoon. I’m really pissed off because one of my ex housies is going out of their way to avoid me and lying to me about having paid the bills and I’m just fucking fuming. I think the bit that upsets me most is that it feels like they’re going to write off this friendship rather than just pay the $400 dollars or so worth of bills. I’m more than likely going to end up having to pay their share of the bills which pisses me off after I went out of my way time and time again to help this person financially, while we were living together…even though they earn an exorbitant salary, which is a complete kick in the guts. Way to make me feel like shit, thanks. At least the other people who owe me money have the courtesy to pick up the phone.

The one positive from today is that I got the Mothership (aka The Hairdressing Fairy) to colour my massive mane of hair. It’s Violet Black, so it looks purple in the light. I gave Bumbles a little purple mohawk too. It’s very sassy.

Originally published at pruesaysit.com. Please leave any comments there.

Laying on the bed and listening to Goldfrapp. Just lathered myself up in Vitamin E head to toe. I’m all soft!!

Originally published at pruesaysit.com. Please leave any comments there.

I get home from running into Foodworks around the corner, and there’s a message waiting on MSN that says “How was Foodworks?” Embarrassingly enough, a guy I know from the net saw me while I was roaming around the bread section………. IN LEGGINGS, with wet hair plastered to my head like a helmet. Awesome.

I feel fucking shithouse today. Seriously, like just really flat and depressed and miserable. I’m sick in the tummy which has probably exacerbated it.
Ugh, I just want today to be over.

Originally published at pruesaysit.com. Please leave any comments there.

I ended up taking back the second Keyboard and Mouse. It’s totally a problem with my system, so I packed em up and took em back to Dicks. Lucky the dude was nice coz I’d lost the receipt and he still let me return them. Good egg, he was. So I’m still living in a wired world, oh well.

Why am I listening to this song?? lol I’m having a 90’s flashback…. and I love it.

Jeremy Jordan – The Right Kind Of Love

Originally published at pruesaysit.com. Please leave any comments there.

I’m having this strange kinda thing happen lately where I’m dead tired right on about 6pm and I can barely keep my eyes open to eat anything at the dinner table, and then I have to have a snooze. And I don’t mean like a kip, but tonight, I fell asleep less than five minutes after I ate dinner and didn’t wake up until after midnight. It’s a real pain in the arse. Maybe I just need the zzz’s. Gotta find some good Vitamins I think. Oh and that old lady bone tablet…you know the one with all the calcium? I think I need that. I haven’t eaten dariy anything in months. I miss my old friend Cheese but he makes me so sick

I watched a dvd of my Grade 5 camp today. I’ll have to pull some stills from it coz it’s piss funny. My mate Jase, who I’ve known since the dawn of time, called me this morning and said he was on his way round to drop off the long awaited dvd! What a gem! It’s so funny, we have this thing where we barely talk and then once every few years years or so, we hang out and catch up and talk about old times. We’ve done it since we left Primary School. I took the piss out of him today coz I noticed in the DVD he was wearing a huge singlet top, emblazoned with the logo for the musical Cats! I was like “Who the fuck is that douche wearing the Cats! top!? What a dick…” And he says “That’s….me…it was a great musical!! I have a Phantom of the Opera mug at work too! Andrew Lloyd Webber is a genius!” Oh fuck he cracks me up.

I bought a new wireless keyboard and mouse today, but be fucked if I can get it working. Seriously, it just won’t even recognise it. Arghhh! C’mon! I think I need to update my drivers but I have no fucking clue what I’m doing anymore. It’s over my head! I have googled my arse off to find a soloution but nothing seems to work for me! Any geeks want me to owe them a huge favour??

I think I’ve pulled a muscle in my neck or my back. It’s really sore. I need a massage

Originally published at pruesaysit.com. Please leave any comments there.

Feeling good most of the time now. Physically and mentally. I think being able to eat some proper food has given me some more energy, thankgod. I can't believe it's been 14 days since I had surgery. It's still sore on and off, but seriously, I just feel like a different person since. I've probably overdone it a bit in the last few days physically, but I've had the worst cabin fever. But yeah, essentially, fuck I feel the best I have in years and years...I seriously think the gallbladder was an issue for a long longer than I realised, but it just became so normal living with it I didn't realise it was a problem til it got really bad. Because, now that it's out, I feel so much better. Even my skin is better, which is really strange.

I wish I had a mango in front of me right now. I would eat the fuck out of it like you wouldn't believe.

I can't sleep. Listening to Pulp. It has me horny and energetic. I'm going for a ride on my bike and then I'm going to pineapple and coconut juice. Fuck, I love that stuff. I'm addicted to Pineapple and Coconut sunnyboy things I bought the other night at Coles. It tastes like a Coconut read a FHM advice column about BJ's, bought a litre of pineapple juice and came in my mouth!

Originally published at pruesaysit.com. Please leave any comments there.

RUOKDAY

Originally uploaded by pruesaysit

R U OK?Day will be held on November 29th, 2009. It is an annual national day of action that aims to get Australians, right across the entire spectrum of society, connecting with friends and loved ones, by reaching out to anyone doing it tough and simply asking: “Are you ok?”

Why start a conversation? Research shows talking about suicide with someone at risk actually reduces the chances of them taking their life. It is the one thing we can all do to make a real difference. R U OK?Day is about prevention, preventing little problems turning into big problems. So it is not just about asking those at immediate risk.

Connection is a crucial part of general health and well being to help in coping with issues such as stressful life events, mental health problems, relationship breakdowns and bereavement.

Staying connected and ensuring your colleagues, friends and loved ones do so as well is as simple as having regular, meaningful, conversations. So every day can be R U OK?Day.

This year on November 29th, all of Australia will be encouraged to ask someone they care about: “Are you ok?” And, if they are, the worst that can happen is they will know you care about them…but if they are not, that conversation could change a life.

Originally published at pruesaysit.com. Please leave any comments there.

I went for a walk tonight and I got swooped by a fucking bird. I got swooped yesterday when I cut through the park! What the fuck? I must look particularly suspicious to birds! They can probably feel my terror and disdain for their kind, so perhaps I bring it on myself.
I'm feeling much better today. I've been riding and walking and getting sunshine which always makes me feel good. I like the sun, just not when it's burning the fuck outta my pasty, pasty white skin.

On the weekend I hung out with a girlfriend who had just come back from a trip to the US and she got me the most amazing presents!! Like seriously, a grow my own pink flamingo lawn ornament!! Miracle Toast Jesus on a necklace! (See DailyBooth Photos!) Magnetic Halloween Dress up Jesus! Am I not ridiculously, insanely lucky to have such an awesome friend to indulge my lust for the most ridiculous shit ever!? I'm going to document the Flamingo growth. Expect a photographic journey of awesomeness.

I'm going to buy Windows 7, I've decided. I'm gonna pull apart my PC on the weekend and replace the cpu fan, replace my rooted dvd burner...the tray won't slide open anymore, and back up my hard drive so I'm ready for a fresh install God, it's ridiculous how much this excites me.

Okay, is there any flavour of Extra Juicy cordial that isn't absolutely awesome?? Passion Pine is a total winner!

Originally published at pruesaysit.com. Please leave any comments there.

Dude, I was so sick today. I swear to Jebus, I was in the can the whole day, and when I wasn't, I was thinking about whether I needed to be on the can. I read that lots of people have similar issues after a Cholesysectomy but I thought coz it hadn't happened in the first few days after surgery, it probably wouldn't. But yep, day 6 was a fucking killer. So not cool. I had two big naps and woke up a bit earlier and took some anti nausea stuff and a painkiller and the Prozac. I hope tonights meds have enough time to actually absorb into my system, coz I've felt really fucking miserable the last few days. No, that's not true. I've had strange moments of feeling great, and then bang! I feel like shit, emotionally. I'm really a bit all over the place at the moment. Something that's really affecting me, both physically and emotionally is my weight loss. If you don't dig reading about weight, this is your cue to spin on.
It feels to me that it's kind of impossible to lose nearly 60kg and not have it affect your head. It feels like it's happened really quickly and it's really hard to get used to a body that doesn't feel like my own. I don't know how to reconcile all the emotions that come with it. Like, how do I pretend that I'm not excited to be able to buy clothes that I actually fucking like? As opposed to taking what I can get at the top end of the big bird sizes and trying to fuck around with it. But then, I'm overcome by huge waves of anger and annoyance that my validation feels like it's coming from what size I can fit into. I get mad that I couldn't buy all the same shit 12 months ago. When I dropped under 100kg, (I'm 95kg now), I felt this strange sense of achievement, and it sickened me that I'd feel that way. I've struggled with a lot of guilt over the way I'm feeling about my weight loss. When I embraced Fat Acceptance, I did it because finally I had found a bunch of people who felt like I did...that weight wasn't a moral issue. I'd never been a self loathing fatty. Sure, I had days where I thought 'fuck, it'd be so much easier to do x,y,z if I wasn't so heavy', or where I looked in the mirror and thought 'Ugh'. That I won't deny. But all in all, weight was something I didn't think much about. And now, I think about it all the time. I don't mean to, but it's hard not to.
I don't know what size to reach for anymore when I shop. Yesterday, I almost fucking fell over in Kmart coz the bra I got was a 16DD. To put it into perspective for you, I haven't been a 16DD since I worked at Kmart as a 16 year old. Yeah, it's awesome to buy a bra that I don't have to go to fucking Seaford to buy (Lisas Lacies, for the uninitiated), but all these other things start running through my brain at the same time, like 'There must be something wrong with the way it's cut for it to fit me', 'They've mistagged it', 'Where did my fucking tits go?' Fuck, seriously, I must just sound like a mental. Meh, you already know I am I guess. I just want to be healthy. I guess all this shit in my head will sort itself out.
Okay, all this time I was feeling like a bad fatty coz I was scared that I'd let the weight loss change my ideals........... and then while I was writing this, this guy from like years and years ago, added me to MSN out of the blue. I told him I was having issues with my self esteem linked to my weight loss. We then got into this HUGE, no pun intended, discussion about weight and seriously... any doubt I had that my passion for Fat Acceptance had been lost along with my weight loss was totally flung out the window. I'm so fired up about some of the stuff he said, it was all that regurgitated shit about how I couldn't have possibly have been healthy at that weight, or my current weight, and how I'd die before him. He's right, I'm not healthy at this weight at all. I'm suffering from malnutrition coz I can't eat, my skin is shit, I have no energy and I have a host of associated medical problems. Go figure though, I didn't have these problems when I was fatter. I was healthier THEN, than I am now. Obviously, this isn't the case for everyone, and it has to be assessed on a case by case basis between an individual and their health care provider, just as all merits of health should be. I can't stand the blanket statement of Fat = Unhealthy, nor that Thin= Healthy. Anyway, thank you Craig for making me realise that having lost this weight hasn't changed who I am inside, like I was so scared it had. I was unnecessarily worried that I hung on to the FA thing because it made me feel validated in a society that makes fatties feel like the anti-christ. I can still be an advocate for Fat Acceptance at 95kg, or at fuckin 50kg. I never let my weight define me at my heaviest, why should I let it define me at my slimmest?

I think i'm done with my rant. I feel so much better for it though. Thanks for just letting me get it out coz it was eating me up inside.

Originally published at pruesaysit.com. Please leave any comments there.

Taking Bumble Bea to the vet tomorrow. Didn't give thought to the fact it's going to be 36 freakin degrees. Ugh. Here's hoping the golden girl doesn't complain too loudly on the drive there. As it is, I'm hot already and it's 3am! Boo. I have the fan on and am sitting around in my bra and undies and don't plan on wearing any more clothes than I absolutely have to this Summer.
Okay, enough time to listen to the rest of November Rain by GnR and have a ciggie before bed. It's my unspoken rule that I won't turn this song off half way through. If I start it, I finish it.

Oh, I'm feeling much better today too. My stomach isn't nearly as sore as it was and I'm in better spirits than I have been in ages. This makes me chuffed.

You're not the only one, you're not the only one.... dum dum dum... okay, song over... time for bed.

Everybody needs somebody.

Originally published at pruesaysit.com. Please leave any comments there.

Dot point fever

-Any photo taken of you immediately after anesthetic will be fucking horrendous. Photoshop can not fix this.
-In stark contrast to the issues I has having prior to my operation, I've eaten about a thousand fucking laxatives since I came home. Christ it's uncomfortable.
-Yesterday, I saw a sign at the Pet Shop that said Free Bunnies. Yes, free. Just giving them away on the spot. Do they fucking realise how many useless morons are going to take them up on this offer, without any consideration for the commitment they're making or knowing how to care for a rabbit? They're more work than they look. I took it up with the girl at the counter and she wasn't pleased. Hot weather and Bunnies do not mix. I can't stand live animal sales at Pet Shops.
-Huge fucking dose of antibiodics makes my lady parts sad.
-I can't believe how awesome some people have been to me while I've been sick/getting better etc. Even though you have your own stuff going on, some of you have been just unbelievably supportive and it's made a really big impact on me. I know I said it before, but it means a lot.
-So glad to still be tight with my old housies. I miss them heaps!!
-Feels like I have huge stitch, like after you go for a run? LOL Like I can remember the last time I ran for anything, but I have a vague recollection of it.
-Kinda starting to feel a bit sick. Think I need some cantaloupe.

Originally published at pruesaysit.com. Please leave any comments there.

I'm tired and feeling kinda down.
It's prolly just the come down from having surgery and lots of morphine etc but still feels pretty miserable. My tummy is really sore today. I have a big cut in my belly button and then 3 further up my abdomen. I think they're gonna heal pretty well. I'm just sore as fuck and my stomach is in a bad way from all the meds I've taken recently.

I'm gonna go and have a shower and see if I feel any better.

Originally published at pruesaysit.com. Please leave any comments there.

I'm such a dork. The only bag I have that I can fit overnight stuff into is my bag from Sacred Heart. Can you tell that a) I don't have cause to go away very often, b) I hold on to crap for far too long and c) I'm not the kind of girl who buys bags. Although, I think I need to change that and buy a bag or two or three. It couldn't hurt.
I went and bought another nightie this arvo at Best and Less. Fuck they have the greatest shit there. Big fan, big fan. I'm lurking around the house in it now. I'm not sure if neon hearts are really my scene, but it's cute and sleeveless, which makes for cool as a cucumber style comfort.
I was chuffed to spend some quality time with Lozzy this morning. Yay for hugs and ciggies and shootin the breeze! It's strange not seeing her every day like I have done for the past few years haha

Alright, well, I think that's all I have to say for tonight. I wanna try and get to bed early coz I have to be at Dandy by 7. The lady from the hospital called to confirm tonight and told me I'm second on the list of procedures and they take two at a time, so I should be first cab off the rank or thereabouts. I'm a little bit scared. Not heaps, but ya know, a little... anyways... I'll tweet from hospital haha so get in on the twitter action if you're not already.

Originally published at pruesaysit.com. Please leave any comments there.

Waiting at the hospital with my bag of x rays

Originally uploaded by pruesaysit

I spent the majority of today skulking around Dandenong Hospital, in their Pre-Admission clinic. 3 hours, as expected. It was mostly a lot of waiting around because they were short staffed, but we got everything done and out of the way and I'm good to go for Friday.
I must have been super anxious about today because I had the worst nights sleep last night. I woke up about 20 times. Even the cat cracked the shits eventually with my tossing and turning and decided the floor was a better option, where I wouldn't disturb her. This morning when I got up, I felt hideous. Overtired and nervously sick. It was alright once I got there though. Just feeling relieved that it's only a few days away now. Plus, I was informed that todays General Anesthetics are heaps better than they've been in the past and less likely to cause me to hurl my guts out after I wake up, which was something I was worrying about. Me and GA's don't normally mix very well.

Thanks to the awesome people that have taken the time to write or call and wish me luck for Friday. You guys are the greatest and your support has been hugely appreciated, not just this week, but for the last few months while I've been so miserable. You've been great to put up with my moaning and whinging, both here and IRL, so thank you for all being so awesomely considerate and sweet.

<3

Originally published at pruesaysit.com. Please leave any comments there.

If you check out my new Flickr pics, you'll see the Bathroom my dad renovated. The olds had one of the worst bathrooms you'd ever seen, (go, look at the pics, I'll wait), see what I mean? It is now officially an awesome bathroom, so I thought I'd show it off. The Old Man and the Mothership worked their arses off on the job, but it totally paid off. Doing it themselves made it a looooong, tedious and at times, insane project but they saved a stack of cash that they can now put towards the Kitchen reno, which is going to be a fairly big undertaking that will probably need Contractors.
So here's cheers to the efforts of the Parentals and their job well done!

I've been comfortable on a mattress on the floor, since I got here 2 weeks ago but I have to put my bloody bed together tomorrow night otherwise it's going to be a cunt to get up and down off the ground after my op on Friday. Boo. I actually really like a mattress on the floor. I know it's pretty dodgy, but it provides the perfect sitting space to perch at the PC. Once I no longer need the bed, it's outta here and back to living like a filthy hippy.

4 more sleeps til I go for my operation! Tomorrow morning I have my Pre-Admission clinic for 3 hours. I don't know what they're gonna do that takes 3 hours? How long can it take to explain the op, risks and weigh me for anesthetic? Not that I'm complaining, just have no idea why it takes 3 hours but whaddya gonna do eh? I'm starting to get just a liiiiiiiiiiiiiitle bit nervous, not about tomorrow but Friday.

Okay, gotta hit the sack so I'm awake for this thing in the morning. Must find phone and charge it so I have some sort of alarm!

Originally published at pruesaysit.com. Please leave any comments there.

pikchers of girs how or showing ther wiggy and pum and boobis

That is officially the greatest search term that has ever brought anyone to my blog, which is no mean feat. Honorable mentions to go to

• 'Ernie+Sigley+Wanker' (self explanatory really, and an affirmation I'm not the only one who thinks this)
• 'Crimpy Pussies' (what the fuck makes a pussy crimpy, exactly?)

Originally published at pruesaysit.com. Please leave any comments there.

I’ve been in heaps of pain the last few days with my GB. Only 8 more days til it’s out. I’m literally counting down the sleeps, like a kid waiting for Santa. Doctor gave me Oxycontin and more Panadeine Forte. I’m feeling fluffy, but still the pain is pretty bad. I’m thinking if it’s still really bad in the morning, I might go to the Hospital tomorrow coz the Doc said that’s the best plan of attack. It has been a fairly miserable day coz I’ve felt so shithouse. Although, finding a Cunteloupe at the shops did provide me with some lulz.

It's not quite breakfast, it's not quite lunch...but it comes with a slice of Canteloupe at the end!

Originally published at pruesaysit.com. Please leave any comments there.

Okay, in the last 24 hours alone, I've had 13 people find my site by searching for Ernie Sigley. Well, fuck me swingin, if there's not going to be an arseload of unhappy pensioners when they see my opinion of the Sigs.

Speakin' of Pensioners, my grandmother and her partner came for dinner tonight. We don't see them often as they live in the country, but they were heading home from a weekend away and so popped in for dinner. Normally I miss seeing them when they pop in, so it was cool to be home to finally catch them. I had total dinner envy coz my mum made this amazing smelling meal, but instead I stuck with piece of toast with some fresh mushroom, spinach and avocado. Don't get me wrong, the toast was awesome and it stayed down pretty well, but man, my mums coconut rice smelt so good!

I canceled a date today because he asked me to wait outside rather than him come to the door. I was like, just don't bother. This is not Grey Street. I'm not gonna wait outside on the freakin kerb, buddy.

Meg dropped in about 5 mins after the Motherships Mothership had taken off. We drank, smoked and watched home shows on Foxtel til nearly 3am.

Originally published at pruesaysit.com. Please leave any comments there.